"There's many shit lyricals like."

Engel doesn't appreciate Katy Perry's lyrics in California Gurls.

"You can put money in the bank?!"

Ian was shocked to learn you can deposit money into a bank account. I don't know how someone goes nearly 21 years without learning this.

"It's on Google you know. It's canny cool that, I'm on Google."

He's realized that he's slowly climbing the ladder to superstardom.

"Gary, your bed is the only place I feel relaxed enough to crap."

Thanks for inspiring this one Jamie T.

"Cool. Awesome. Smouldering. Spicy."

Ian's favourite adjectives.

"I think we should try and take that Ben Nevis."

Ian was caught whispering (loudly) this to someone, it turns out he'd saw a bottle with 'Ben Nevis' on, we all assumed he was trying to rally people to invade the mountain.

"It's full of chinese people over there."

Ian talking about Canada.

"Sometimes when I'm at work I shit myself on the table."

Dirty little secret.

"I want to go to the shops to buy a chips."

Ian speak bad.

"If you get relegated from the Premiership does that mean you're no longer a professional footballer?"

Ian must think all the Newcastle United players have took on second jobs just to get by.