"It's on Google you know. It's canny cool that, I'm on Google."

He's realized that he's slowly climbing the ladder to superstardom.

"Gary, your bed is the only place I feel relaxed enough to crap."

Thanks for inspiring this one Jamie T.

"Cool. Awesome. Smouldering. Spicy."

Ian's favourite adjectives.

"I think we should try and take that Ben Nevis."

Ian was caught whispering (loudly) this to someone, it turns out he'd saw a bottle with 'Ben Nevis' on, we all assumed he was trying to rally people to invade the mountain.

"It's full of chinese people over there."

Ian talking about Canada.

"Sometimes when I'm at work I shit myself on the table."

Dirty little secret.