"I used to think I could make it rain with my eyes."

When Ian was younger he saw Rain Man and thought that he could make it rain, and actually tried to do so.

"Ah man my cock's feeling like it needs to get wet."

I completely understood this feeling, but he actually just meant he needed a piss.

"When you see that meat who you gonna call? Meatbuster."

A clever (well...) take on the Ghostbusters theme song relating to a chicken pizza I bought at Pizza Knights.

"I feel like a blue Smartie, all crazy inside."

Funny thing is it's the outer coating that is supposed to be the 'crazy' part of blue Smarties.

"I wish I could sleep inside out."

Ian said this after Phil said to Jack, "You look so comfortable, I just wish I could sleep inside you" at Campbell's house.

"This song makes me want to sleep in a field, in France."

The song was 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins, it turns out he had a romantic turning point in his life listening to this song in a field in France.

"Fucking hell, I can see in the dark with my ears."

This is just plain stupid really.

"I'm sick of my right arm being bigger than my left arm."

Engel discussing the effects of masturbation on his body.

"If people are stupid enough to believe in Jesus then they're stupid enough to believe in Engel."

Ian thinks he can become the next Jesus, but I think he's too stupid to gain a loyal following, although this blog does get quite a few compliments...

"If you're friends you're family, and if you're family you can fuck."

I don't actually know what to say about this one, Ian can be pretty sick when he wants to be.

"If you were inside my head it would all make sense."

Speaks for itself really.

"By the time I die I wanna have 5,000 friends on Facebook and know them all. And a car."

Ian has some fantastic life ambitions.